First Time Mom During COVID Times

Its been a year. A year since covid started. A year of living life in a completely different manner than ever expected. A year of being a first time mom when you want all the help in the world in the beginning but can’t.

Chase was born the week before shut down. It was such an amazing happy time for our family. My parents and in laws were able to come meet him at the hospital and they came back to our house and visited the first couple days then that was it. All of our family lives out of town, so when shut down and the travel ban happened, no one could come visit. No one was able to come see this beautiful new precious life that we were so happy to share with everyone. It was hard. Very hard on Chad and I. No breaks but that’s okay. We learned our routine and I look back and dang I am so proud of us since we did the first 2.5 months with no help. PAT ON THE BACK!!!

One thing that I didn’t expect was the post partum loneliness. Since we were so isolated and couldn’t leave the house I was all alone all the time with Chase until Chad got home. With the crashing of my hormones, man I felt so lost and isolated. I cried a lot because I felt so lonely. I was very sad but then also excited to be with Chase. It was an emotional roller coaster. Yes we facetimed with people, but it was not the same as human interaction. We did not go anywhere. We were also so afraid to go anywhere because of the fear of bringing home germs to our fresh newborn with no immune system. It was so scary.

I’ll never forget the day too I told Chad I had the thought while driving today of just driving off the road and being done. I didn’t feel I was enough, I was overwhelmed, sad, lost, lonely, and a mess of hormones. It was a huge wake up for us. We spent a lot of time in the evenings talking about how I felt and what I could do to snap out of this funk I was in. We were both worried. I told him If I couldn’t use exercise, personal time for myself (even 20 min a day) or just being open and talkative to him, I was going to call my doctor. It was a scary time. I have always thought to be a mentally strong person but being a new mom and isolated due to covid really tested my mental strength.

I did give myself some me time each day. I worked out, and Chad and I had a lot of deep conversations. Lots of tears of sadness and joy. Honestly it brought us closer in our marriage. I am so proud of us and it made me really realize how much I depend on my husband. He has my back through thick and thin. I don’t know where I would be without him.

The effects of covid are changing the mental health of so many different people. I have heard of other people going through the same thing. I guess I never realized how much we as a human race rely on human interaction and contact to keep us mentally well.

If you are feeling depressed, lonely, isolated, or have self harm feelings, please talk to someone or call your healthcare provider.

Remember we all matter to someone


Never say never: Cosleeping

So I have to fully admit I was one of those people that said my kids would never sleep in my bed. As you can guess I caved and Emersyn slept in our bed with us until she was almost 4 months old. Hints why I said never say never. People would often say “oh you never know you might not feel that way later”. Now I still felt that way. I honestly didn’t want her in our bed mainly for safety reasons. We had plans to use a cradle or bassinet and then move her to her crib. Clearly, our plans were not Emersyn’s plans and she is the boss around here.

Around 8 weeks old we found out Emersyn had bad reflux. She had been spitting up a lot at a time and when we would try to lay her down at night it was horrible. We decided to try some medicine for her reflux and saw improvement but she still wasn’t sleeping at night. Which means no one was sleeping at night. Now in the beginning she slept on me. I know horrible idea. Emmy slept Mom didn’t.

Eventually I found this awesome reflux pillow on amazon. I am not sure if it has helped her reflux or not but it helped her sleep because of the cozy feeling. We were able to have her sleep successfully at night in this pillow! Yay! I was still looking for something with sides so I could feel better about Mom and Dad not accidentally rolling too close to her.

One day at target I saw this Cosleeper for around 45 dollars that was the same price on amazon. I loved that it had hard sides and it wasn’t huge or super expensive. We decided to give it a try. I put her reflux pillow that she was use to inside of the cosleeper. Finally everyone was able to sleep a little easier.

So if you were like me and didn’t want to cosleep but now you are I highly recommend these two items to give you some peace of mind and hopefully a little sleep. Or if you’re that mom that wants to cosleep these are some awesome products that you will love.

Link for Cosleeper
Link for Pillow

parenting, pregnancy

What Happens In Vegas… Doesn’t Stay in Vegas: Pregnancy Edition

Callie’s Story:

My husband (Chad) and I planned a west coast vacation the summer of 2019 and this was our last big trip before we wanted to start a family. We planned our trip around the national athletic training conference that was in Vegas that summer. So we flew out early and hiked some of our bucket list spots. We had discussed before the trip that if we conceived in Vegas it would be a funny story. We had the moto the entire trip of well we may come home as a family of three (I had known I was going to be ovulating during our vacation) and said screw it (literally) we were going to let fate decide if it would give us life’s biggest blessing. I had been off my birth control for a year already so we were ready to start a family. We had been married for 3 years together for 6 and had just bought a house… so we said well why not ? LOL

Right after 4th of July that summer I had this feeling that I was pregnant. I had different kind of cramps in my hips and I was starting to get really nauseous driving to and from work. I remember sitting in clinic with my coworkers and telling them how I was feeling. They were telling me I was pregnant and I brushed it off saying no way (secretly hoping I was). I went home after work that evening and took a test. OMG it was the longest two minutes of my life waiting for the results. While waiting, I changed into my workout clothes to go walk Gunner and I came back into the bathroom and looked at the test and saw it said pregnant. My hands literally started shaking, heart beating so fast, and I started crying. I composed myself and went downstairs to find Chad. I remember standing at our kitchen island, looked up at him and just slid the pregnancy test across the island. He looked down and said “is this real??” My response as real as it can get ! We both hugged and cried tears of joy and happiness.

Ally was one of the first people I told I was pregnant. We were both so excited and then sad only because we were finally going to be in the same state together and had plans to go to a wine bar (and still have not been to the wine bar) . But really we were excited lol

I was blessed with the worst morning sickness the first trimester. I survived on ginger ale and club crackers which made it so hard to hide being pregnant to my coworkers. I am creature of habit and only drink water and coffee plus I usually eat the same snack and lunch daily. So when I started drinking ginger ale and eating crackers instead of a morning banana and afternoon popcorn… they were on to me. I would then come home from work and sit in the bathroom and sob to Chad telling him “I had a lot of fun making the baby but I am not having any fun anymore” he would then respond saying I look like the character from the Mr. Yuck commercial.

Oh but all the morning sickness was worth it when I saw our precious little one at the 8 week ultrasound. The amount of love you feel as a parent when you see your child for the first time is breath taking. My OB called the 8 week old photo the gummy bear phase and wow that was so true. That’s exactly what Chase looked like. He looked like a gummy bear but Chad and I also pictured him with reptar arms and legs since they were just growing, so we came up with the nickname and called Chase reptar gummy (until we actually picked a name)

My second trimester was very uneventful. I finally felt better and was able to return to my normal self. Its so so so true when they say the 2nd trimester is a breeze.

Now my 3rd trimester… that’s another story and a long one….. so we will save that for another post. Stay tuned 🙂

Until then lesson of this story…. what happens in Vegas… Does not always stay in Vegas…